I've been reflective on my life a lot lately... I know, that's new, but I figured it was time I try something new! :) I think it has to do with school being over and I actually have the brain process since I'm not grading hours and hours of grammar, writing, and vocabulary quizzes. I like my life, I know it's where I'm supposed to be right now, but it's not my deep down dream. I'm so blessed to own the house I own, have amazing family and friends (seriously they're amazing, I have the world's greatest friends), I'm healthy, and I'm safe. I'm awed and thankful that I have such an amazing career, that I'm able to implement new programs, teach teachers, work with such wonderful kids, but really it's not what I do for the rest of my life... I want to be a wife, I want to be a mom, I want to make the world's greatest chocolate chip cookies. Forget feminism, I want to stay at home with my babies, do laundry, clean the house, and cook dinner for my man every night. That's my heart and passion, and yet, I'm single... I don't regret the fact that I'm not married. I've been close a few times. I absolutely 100% know that I'm not supposed to be with the guys in my past, it was a painful lesson, but I'm glad I went through what I did. So, the question is, 'now what God?' Where am I supposed to go from here? What am I supposed to do with my life? How am I supposed to live?
I don't know the answer to those questions. I really really wish I did. Do I think I'm going to be in Lynchburg the rest of my life? No. Do I think I'm going to teach until I retire? No. There's a lot I don't know, but there are a few things I do know... I know that God has a plan for me. I know that God loves me. I know that if I follow God He will lead me down an absolutely amazing path. I know that I love God. I know that with every fiber in my being I want to love, serve, know, and follow God. These aren't emotional responses, because believe me, tonight is a night when I don't 'feel' those things. It doesn't matter what I feel, it matters what I know. So, I will hold tight to these promises from my amazing Savior and I will trust that in His timing He will make His plans known to me.