Patience Smatience...

I hate patience! Now, don't get me wrong, I think its a good thing, but I don't like going through the process of getting any... Over the last few months I have gone through a lot of struggles and issues, basic *crap*, and it's been amazing to me how many times people have commented on my patience. I always laugh because patience is the one things I have refused to pray for and ask God to bless me with... Patience is a lesson that you can only learn by going through difficult situations and getting no result or change; at least that's the way I see it...

Even though I don't like patience I completly understand the importance of it and even more amazingly, I understand why God felt I needed some and decided to allow me to go through this stress and shape my patience. I don't get why I struggle with patience, I know that God has a plan for my life and He knows exactly what I'm going to do and where I'm going to go, so why am I not content to wait for Him to show me exactly what He wants out of my life?

Right now I feel like I'm sitting like a duck on open waters, just waiting for something to happen and its very frustrating to me; I don't sit, if I need to do something or I want something, I get up, work my butt off and make it happen. Definitely learning the importance of sitting down, shuting up, and waiting... aka, patience. And you know what? I'm really enjoying the scenery along the way. I'm a pretty busy person, I got a lot on my plate, and I had become so focused on everything I have to do that I stopped seeing the beauty of my journey, like the environment, my blessings, my relationship with God, my friends, family, and students. To be honest with you, they actually sometimes felt like hinderances and roadblocks because to spend time focusing on them and their pain was taking away from getting my stuff done. How horrible is that for someone that is commanded to love God and then love others!?!

So, as strange as this sounds coming from me, I'm thankful for my lessons in patience and I'm actually glad I have gone through them. Don't get me wrong, I would be really happy if they ended today, but until they do, I will enjoy the journey...